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walk the walk, slick talkin’

tryna make it up as i go
but that just ain’t me though

our likes dnt even gotta rhyme
its the personality
i know u think its corny
but its what you need sometimes

imma be your superhero
you can be my star
i know i can hold it down
coz truth is
you ain’t really that far

lemme offer you this
lemme offer you that
you thought i loved you
but you ain’t seen nothin yet

so lemme impress you
capture your heart
and when struttin down the stores
you know you ain’t gotta nag
coz the next thing imma say
is throw it in the bag

today, acting out scenes in M. Butterfly was pretty interesting. some people were just made to be up on stage, i think. haha. they way the feel comfortable in those different situations is pretty cool. i wish i had that same confidence. when i found out that i was going up to act out a scene, damn. its wasnt a particularly good feeling. cold hands. haha. but i just did what i could and yea, i guess.

so i found out in class that the ‘M’ in M. Butterfly stands for monsiuer, though i don’t know if i spelled that right. One thing that bugs me is that HOW in hell can you not tell that you’re sleeping with a dude. like seriously. so im just going to say kudos to song because she/he was really good at hiding it. props. it was really clever how the script gives hints and the irony behind it.

in class, the scenes were summarized and thoroughly discussed. i thought that was really helpful because i haven’t had much experience reading scripts and its rather hard for me to visualize what is really happening during a certain situation. the fact that there subtle hints in a line where the action is supposed to take place is pretty cool.

Q: what stands out as the most difficult aspect of your project?

A: remembering each scene because i was only 10.

Q: could you tell me how you felt when you presented your creative project?

A: i just said what was on my mind…yea, thats it.

Q: if you had time and money, could you have made your project better? how?

A: i don’t know…uhhmm…i think having to know how to draw will make my project a little better.

last thursday we had a discussion about M butterfly. we talked about how we can discern it from Madame Butterfly. how women were talked to and treated as human beings…just not right.

and then for some reason, we got into the topic of relationships and how like and love are different from each other. how sexual intercourse can affect it, maybe. how it can just be infatuation and shallow.

i was kinda hoping that i’d be able to go to the poetry thing but i figured it would be too much spanish for me to comprehend. i was thinking how i’d get that inspiration to maybe improve my spoken word. great discussion though i wish i spoke up when the time came. hmm maybe next time.

i have to say that yesterday’s class was hellllla dope. so many creative minds putting up their original projects for everyone to see. every sopken word piece was just inspirational, every film was moving, and every comic/demon story was just superb. so much talent in the class that i dint even realize before. crazy

bu uhmm to recall a select few that the class might just not forget was zan rapping to eminem’s 8mile, oj murdering the beat of that 1 song, don’t you leave me lonely, patrick talking about cigarettes, khang tricking, and ariel’s sick flow. hella dope.

just so much insight on who the person is based on their creative projects. its just really refreshing. especially those that go out of their comfort zone and doing something they’ve never done before. amazing. i’ll never forget this class.

This Love, This Color

See, people like colors

Intrigued about colors

Obsessed about colors

He does blue

She does green

Maybe they do teal coz it’s something in between

But it’s a shallow “like”

What do I like?

Nah, what do I love.

My color

Inhabits 7,107 islands

Fought in wars

And built nations with these hands

Disgraced by bleaching creams

By whitening soaps

And the media engraving into our heads

That staying out in the sun is not to be done

Fuck that

Through trying times

Through downtrodden, right nearly forgotten

Though society tries to deny

I used to doubt what my color was about

But since then, I’ve been in love

Long before Manny Pacquiao

Before America’s Best Dance Crew

Before the stars on YouTube

Before everyone made it seem

Like it was just another fucking trend

I’ve been proud

This kind of love

As peaceful as the flowing stream

Yet when the white water rapids approach

It ignores all aspects of reason

Drew Vai said “wake up”

Beau Sia said “rise up”

Now I say “stand up”

Spectators providing reasons why I’m a fool

But then again, I am one

Fool enough to believe in this my pride

Fool enough to believe that my story

Is yet to have a happy ending

Fool enough to believe that this is in my blood

But then again, I am one

Love

The kind that sets the trail for

Homeward bound peace

Refreshing, repairing, rejuvenating the desires of your heart

Burning through that fake shell called flesh

And sees you for who you are

So since you’ve told me yours

Lemme breathe

And with steady hands

Lemme show you

Mine.

Writing this spoken word piece made me that I have so much more pride in being Filipino than I actually realize. Drew Vai’s “Go to School” piece inspired me to look to my culture and my heritage. Although I didn’t have any significant family experiences that stirred me to use this topic, I managed to be inspired enough to write about it. I soon found out that being inspired is one thing, but to write about it is another.

Coming up with topics to write about wasn’t that entirely difficult, but choosing one eventually proved to be. I am pretty comfortable with writing and I saw that there were so many things I could write about. When I am inspired, it is relatively easy for me to write and the words just “come out”. I started to free write as best I could, putting down everything that came into my head onto the paper in front of me. With a whole bunch of words, I started to organize them, picking out some of the more interesting phrases first. Again and again, I went through the whole piece and tried to improve some lines. During this process, I came across a few challenges.

It was already puzzling enough to try to choose a title that would fit the content of the spoken word piece. I proceeded to read my writing several times before deciding. Another question I challenged myself with was “how do I say certain lines so that I can convey its message to the fullest?” I have to say that practicing in front of the mirror is rather hard. Practicing in itself so many times is hard because every time I recite this piece, a little bit of passion that comes along with it goes out the window. The fact that a certain amount of intensity might not be there the next time I say this poem concerned me. Furthermore, putting different tones and volume levels on specific areas of this piece as I read took me out of my comfort zone, not to mention that I also had to memorize everything that I was going to do.

As I continued to try to improve my presentation, tackling some of the challenges, I came across something unusual. Emotionally, I felt angry. I felt frustrated when it dawned on me that I’ve never actually tried to express my pride in such a way. I was angry that I was never compelled to write about me being a Filipino. I’ve written many poems before but that topic had never crossed my mind. This creative project helped to open my inner doors and somehow have that feeling of being reconnected when all this time I thought that nothing was really severed. It was definitely strange but in a satisfying way.

Although I was really inspired, I feel that I could have done better with this piece if I had more time. But then again, often times the best pieces of writing are conjured up on a whim with only a sudden urge to work with. This project helped open my eyes to the different things the Filipino community has been able to offer this country. I am proud of that.